Children

So it all started a few weeks ago when one of our good friends found out she was having twins! What made it even better was twins don't run in her family or her husbands! This made me Very jealous , not because I can't get pregnant or am even thinking about kids at the moment, but because I have always wanted twins. The likelihood of me having them is slim to none, but hey, a girl can dream can't she? So I brought the good news to my husband and we sent our congratulations. I then mentioned the jealousy factor to my husband and that's when the odd behavior started. Any questions and comments about children and he shuts down. Obviously he though I was catching baby fever. But I am not and told him so. We made an agreement at the start of our marriage that we would wait at least 5 years befor having kids. I reminded him of this and told him that's just what women do when our friends have babies! We talk about babies, we coo at babies and hold babies and for a few weeks we are in love with everything involving babies!!! It's the hormones and biological clock people. Get used to it. But that doesn't mean I want to prop my legs up and start popping out children! I am not ready, end of story, alas, my husband doesn't seem to grasp that fact. So I sat him down and explained all of this. And he looks me in the eye and says "I don't think I want to have children" I laughed, of course he wanted children, not now of course, but in time, he told me so himself, many times. I told him this, then he says "no I am serious, I don't think I ever want to have children"
Talk about a bombshell.
I was furious, this isn't something you tell your wife a week after your one year anniversay! I was pissed. We have talked about having kids many times, we even had to have an in-depth discussion during pre-canna (church run pre marriage councilling). Never ONCE in our 8 years of knowing eachother has he ever mentioned this. Then he says he doesn't want to talk about it and that was it. So for the next month I sat in a depression. How could he do this to me! Then I began to look at it logically. Four years to go, four years is a long time, a lot can happen, he will change his mind, he has a biological clock too. And I tried to keep my panicked insanity to myself. After all, who do you confide to that your crazy husband doesn't want children ever whenwe aren't even talking about having children for another 4 years?
Everyone will think I am nuts!
So on a recent trip to Florida, when we were both trapped in the car for eight hours I forced him to talk about it. He had very crummy answers. He said the reason he didn't want kids was because he didn't want our kids asking the kinds of questions he asked when he was a kid (WTF?!) and that when you had kids your entire life became about them, there was no more husband and wife any more, I would get fat and lazy and that would be the end of our romance. Again WTF!? Ok so yea that is what happened to his parents, but it didn't happen to mine! And it doesn't happen to everyone! I plan on being a hopeless romantic till the day I die, kids or no kids.
So by the end of the conversation he conceeded to not write off children forever and I told him that 7 years was my limit. (that would put me at 30) I am confident he will change his mind, but the panic still gets to me every now and then. So to be a rebel I went out and paid ten dollars for a cute baby outfit with dinosaurs on it (dinos are his favorite thing ever aside from Legos) and it is hidden safely away, so when I have a panic moment, I just glance to where I hid it and remind myself I am being silly. And I know one day I will be able to get that outfit out and we will laugh about how he said he never wanted children.

Give a chef a frying pan and they will show you a hundred different amazing things. Give a child a frying pan and they will show you the proper way to use it to defend yourself from a fire breathing dragon.